Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour Review: An Unwelcome Game

Out now on Nintendo Switch 2 comes Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour. Developed and published by Nintendo, this fresh new title is a collection of tech demos and mini-games all aimed and showing off what the big N’s latest piece of hardware can do. Wander around large recreations of the Nintendo Switch 2 and its hardware, play games, stamp stamps, do quizzes, and read!

I will be honest, dear reader, it is hard not to be flippant about Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour and trying to write a professional review for it has been a chore. As I frankly feel it isn’t any good. And the temptation to say and write some rather unfortunate things about it is mighty. Because this game is just such a strange creation that it almost defies description. This is a game by Nintendo, and they thought this was good enough? Without getting too lost in a premature rant, let’s get into the review.

Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is currently available on the Nintendo eShop for £7.99 or your regional equivalent.

Story – Homework Time!

There is no story in Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour. Which should come as no surprise. However, the is something resembling a narrative here. I say “something” as that is the best way to describe it. The idea here is that you are going on a welcome tour for the Nintendo Switch 2. You’ll be walking through a recreation of the various hardware elements of the machine, eventually to find the head of the exhibition and sit an exam; because at some point between the Switch 1 and Switch 2 Nintendo seems to have lost their damned mind.

Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is a tech convention of sorts.

Along the way, you’ll meet characters with short, prattling dialogue that is neither fun, funny, or enjoyable. Whilst it is easy to read, and the information dumps to give you information on the hardware of the system are digestible and well presented, it is still dull. Sure, maybe I’m missing something here. But wandering around a digital museum with faceless people and being asked “What shape is the Joy-Con 2 Wheel?” in quizzes isn’t my idea of fun or engaging writing. But this plays into a big issue I found with Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour during my playthrough for the review; it is a game almost devoid of personality, but more on that later.

Gameplay – It Sometimes Has It!

Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is just such an odd game. Even trying to nail down what kind of genre or subgenre of it feels like an exercise in itself. Yeah, I know, your heart bleeds for me! But to be serious for a moment, the fact that I can’t nail down what this game is is itself a problem. As this makes it harder to judge or recommend it to those who might be into games like it. All things considered, the only genre that feels apt for this is that it feels like a tech demo school field trip simulator. Which I’ll grant you is rather wordy. But it is the best I can really do here!

Earn medals to play harder versions of some mini-games.

The “tech demo” part is self-explanatory; the game is filled with mini-games and tech demos to show off what the machine is capable of, kind of. And the “school field trip simulator” part? Well, the is a collection of exhibits that go into detail on the technology that went into making the machine. These are followed by tests to check you’ve learnt what they want you to. Throw in the “Stamp Collecting” part, and there are sections of this that feel more like a virtual trip to a museum, more so than a videogame.

Switch-Up

Let’s not be too negative (though by now, I’m sure you can tell where I’m going with this review). The demos and mini-games on offer are largely fun. I know that sounds like damning with faint praise, but frankly that is the best way I can describe them. In fairness, there are no games that I disliked or hated. But none feel like “Must play” experiences or ones that I’d want to come back to anytime soon. Oh sure, I have a better grasp on how a first-person shooter using a Joy-Con as a mouse will feel. But the game to tease that isn’t compelling enough to earn a return play from me.

At least I now know what mouse controls are like.

I should point out that if you just have the base Switch 2, then there are some games you can’t play. So sadly, my review of Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is not a 100% run. But hey, if anyone wants to buy me fancy things, then by all means! Some require the Camera, others require the Switch 2 Pro Controller, and some require a 4k HDR 120fps capable screen. Sure, the Switch’s own screen can do 120fps and HDR. But there is a collection of games that I frankly can’t play. And those that I can play by playing in handheld mode. Well, they are fine.

Switch-Down

As I say, the games in Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour are perfectly serviceable. And they are hardly the worst things I have ever reviewed. But nothing to write home about or demand your attention. Sure, it is neat to play with various hardware gimmicks that may or may not be used by developers in future titles. However, getting to play them can be a pain in the backside. As to access new areas requires you to take part in this “Stamp” side-quest. Which will see you wandering around a play area looking for stamps connected to various buttons and features of the Switch 2. Some are easy to find, others take a little more finesse.

Imagine, without the stamps I might get to play a game!

Honestly, it feels like I spent more time wandering around looking for stamps than I ever did playing the games. It feels like such an absurd way of doing progression in a game that exists to promote and preview the machine. It feels like Nintendo was going out of its way to stop people from actually playing the game. This not only throws off the pace of this, but also makes playing it feel all the more miserable. Animal Crossing: New Horizons has a Stamp side-quest that it does once a year. And it is a side-quest not tied to progression. Here? Better get stamping!

Switch-Off

Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is a cold game. It feels so dry and clinical that any game or tech demo feels like the cold “Forced Fun” that comes with corporate away days. A lot has been said about how this should have been a pack-in title. And whilst I do feel that the Switch 2 needed a pack-in game, this frankly shouldn’t have been it. As I’ll talk about in the next section, this feels just so frigid and devoid of personality. It is just so drab. And the games that it has to offer are just “Ok” at best and annoying at worst.

Most of Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour’s games are short.

1-2-Switch should have been a pack-in title. Whilst that was more than a little goofy, there was at least a series of games there to play with friends and family. Same with Wii U‘s Nintendo Land, and naturally, same with Wii’s Wii Sports. But Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour has no multiplayer games, so there are no shared experiences. Just one long slog through short-lived games that offer no real replay value.

Graphics & Audio – Bland & Ok

As I was just saying, Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour is a cold game that is barren of personality. In a shocking way, given who is making it. I know that there are people out there who are sick of seeing Mario and his friends being used in game after game. But even still, their inclusion would be something! What we get here lacks the character, colour, and energy that you expect from Nintendo’s characters and art design. There is nothing memorable here. The randomly generated characters that you have to choose from and see are small, minimalist creations that just stand about this virtual convention space with no personality.

In fairness, the recreations of the hardware are great to see. But they are just a modest novelty. And they don’t mean much when everything else just feels so empty and charmless. The soundtrack feels better. But still doesn’t add much to anything else. It only adds to the sensation that you are going through a dead mall. Which I’m sure wasn’t the vibe that they were going for. And is hardly worth buying the game over.