With Cookie Clicker having recently been released on Steam – along with the ability to port save files from the web version – the stats of which players have achieved what feats are finally available to the world. As with many idle games, the question is often asked, “What’s the point?” but Cookie Clicker has a surprising amount of depth that has seen it rise to the top of the genre. With a bunch of different minigames, upgrades, events, buildings, and more, there is plenty to motivate players to keep going until their amount of Cookies is incomprehensibly high.
One of the biggest motivators is achievements, of which there are over 500. The sheer amount of time and dedication some of these achievements take means that anyone who has them all is truly a master of the game. Such people are few and far between, as there are some achievements out there that many of us would never even dream of attempting. This guide will help you on how to get the rarest achievements in Cookie Clicker.
#10 – Sexcentennial – 1.5% Achieved
Buildings are the lifeblood of Cookie production. They’re the things that passively produce, allowing this “idle” game to be called as such. They’re also the key to many minigames, a whole host of buildings having features unique to them. Naturally, players will want to get as many as possible, especially when it comes to the more expensive ones. The game knows this too, which is why this achievement requires you to have at least 600 of everything.
Getting 600 of the early-game buildings like Clickers and Grandma’s isn’t too difficult. It’ll take some time, but not too much. At the other end of the spectrum, there are the Java Console and Idleverses, which are so expensive it’ll be potentially weeks before a new player gets their hands on even one. Getting 600 requires putting production into overdrive for a very long time, but once it’s done, the endgame is surely near.
#9 – A Wizard Is You – 1.4% Achieved
Spells are one of the simpler mini-games in Cookie Clicker, but they still take plenty of time. Unlocked after upgrading the Wizard Tower to Level 1, the selection of spells offer many helpful effects. From summoning a Golden Cookie to making Buildings/Upgrades temporarily cheaper, or simply giving players many Cookies. They all have their chance to backfire, however, so be warned.
How often spells can be cast is governed by a mana bar. The amount of mana is determined by the amount of Wizard Towers the player owns, and the speed at which is refills gradually gets faster the more mana there is. It can also be marginally sped up by further upgrading the buildings. As such, casting 999 of them takes a long while. Even when choosing the cheapest possible spell, it’s going to be roughly 5 minutes between each cast, which makes 999 a long way away.
#8 – Hypersize Me – 1.3% Achieved
The gameplay cycle of Cookie Clicker is a simple one: make a thing, to buy a thing, to make more things. No matter what minigames or complicated benefits are on offer, it’s all done with the aim of getting that Cookie count as high as humanly possible. Players will probably discover numbers they didn’t even know the name of along the way. While amounts like Octillion, Nonillion or even Decillion sound impressive, they are not enough for Cookie Clicker.
To get Hypersize Me, the final achievement for getting a certain amount of Cookies, the amount that has to be reached is One Vigintillion. That is 10 to the power of 63 or a 1 followed by 120 zeros. It’s so big that there is no possible way for the human mind to comprehend it. For some vague attempt at context, the nearest Galaxy from Earth is only just over 2 trillion kilometres away. The diametre of the entire known universe is estimated to be roughly 800 Sextillion kilometres, and Vigintillion is a factor of 40 bigger than that. At that point, it may be fair to claim that is too many Cookies.
#7 – With Unrivalled Fervor – 1.2% Achieved
Reaching a number like One Vigintillion Cookies is going to take a lot of doing and some truly incredible production rates. For that, players will need to pump up their Cookies Per Second metre to similarly ridiculous numbers. Once again, achievements give players a decent idea of just how stupidly big that number will have to get. Buying hundreds upon hundreds of every type of building, every upgrade the game has to offer and mastering the various minigames will be required to get the production where it needs to be.
For the With Unrivalled Fervor achievement, players must bake Ten Quindecillion Cookies Per Second. This number isn’t quite as big as Vigintillion; it is 10 to the power of 49, or 1 with 91 zeros after it. However, it is still a factor of 20 bigger than the size of the known universe and is extra impressive because it’s being produced every second. Maybe the game needs an achievement similar to The Stanley Parable’s “Go Outside” achievement, encouraging players to leave the game alone for a while.
#6 – Four-Leaf Cookie – 1.2% Achieved
Here is the first Shadow Achievement to make the list. These are achievements so hard that the developers themselves have deemed them “unfair” to expect normal players to do without the help of a guide. Four-Leaf Cookie centres around Golden Cookies. These things appear at rough intervals and, when clicked, give a whole host of different beneficial effects, some more useful than others. They’re virtually essential to pushing the boundaries of production.
Getting more than one isn’t too difficult. After a few upgrades are unlocked, they will appear frequently enough that a new one may appear before the previous one’s effects have worn off. Getting a third on top of that is simply timing a spell right to summon one. Getting a fourth, however, really pushes the boundaries of what is possible; but that is what’s required for this achievement. Guides on the subject will be helpful, but it involved manipulating Wizard Towers, Sugar Lumps, Mana and just a little bit of luck for everything to line up perfectly.
#5 – When the Cookies Ascend Just Right – 1.2% Achieved
Another Shadow Achievement, this one is almost entirely luck. Ascending is a process that involves wiping away all your progress and turning it into Heavenly Chips, which can be used to purchase permanent upgrades for future runs. While this may seem horrible to some players, these upgrades are essential to reaching truly high numbers. Normally, players do this after they feel they’ve gathered a good amount of prestige levels. However, this achievement is a little more specific.
For this achievement, players must ascend when they have exactly One Trillion Cookies, not a single more or less. Since players will need a lot of Cookies Per Second to get to this number in the first place, clicking the ascend button at the perfect moment seems almost impossible. Getting it just right will require slowly reducing production as you get close to the One Trillion marker. Once again, a guide will be a great help in working out how to do this.
#4 – Keeper of the Conservatory – 1.1% Achieved
One of the more complicated minigames is the Farm. Unlocked once the Farms have reached Level 1, it allows players to grow a garden. They start with one type of seed, it costs a little to plant before slowly growing and maturing. It then must be harvested in the right window of time for a big benefit. This makes it one of the harsher minigames because players need to watch it a bit more carefully than most things in the game.
As the farm grows, more seeds will be unlocked, all with their own effects. Getting new seeds sometimes involves luck, but other times, careful cross-breeding of plants by putting them next to each other and using the right kind of fertilizer. It takes a hell of a lot of effort, which is why this achievement for getting every seed possible is so rare. What’s more, there’s another achievement for sacrificing the whole thing and starting from scratch. For masochists only, that one.
#3 – Seven Horseshoes – 0.8% Achieved
In the regions below 1%, three of the toughest Shadow Achievement lay in wait for players. This one doesn’t take the luck or precision that most others would; it would just take a stupid amount of time. To get this achievement, players must click 27,777 Golden Cookies. There are a few other achievements for clicking an amount of Golden Cookies. The highest is 7,777, and even that takes a long time.
Even when upgraded to their full extent, Golden Cookies only appear so often. Clicking them requires, at the very least, watching the game in your periphery to notice when they appear. 27,777 is an amount so big that it’d take ages beyond almost everything else there is to do. That’s why this is classed as a Shadow Achievement rather than a regular one.
#2 – Endless Cycle – 0.7% Achieved
Another achievement that takes way too much time for what it’s worth, this one involve Ascending. As already mentioned, there’s plenty of great benefits to doing it multiple times over the course of playing the game. The prestige levels boost production, and the upgrades mean it won’t take too long for players to get back to where they left off. Like everything else in the game, though, big numbers are what makes the world go round, and Ascending is no different.
This Shadow Achievement asks players to wipe the slate clean 1000 times. It doesn’t seem like that tough of a feat, you just have to spam the button, right? Unfortunately not. An Ascension only counts towards this achievement if players have got at least 1 prestige level first. The problem is that getting a new prestige level means getting a little further than where you previously got to. As a result, each successful Ascension will take upwards of an hour. Not a problem for regular play, but a pain in the arse when it needs to be done 1000 times.
#1 – Gaseous Assets – 0.7% Achieved
Much like in the real world, the Stock Market in Cookie Clicker is a confusing, unpredictable beast. Also, like in the real world, many people have developed bots to sort it out for them. Gaining profits in it is somewhat luck, but there are plenty of people whose minds work in just the right way to manipulate it to their benefit. It’s unlocked when Banks reach Level 1, and several more upgrades will likely be needed to hit this achievement.
To get this achievement, players will need to get into a bit of daily rhythm of buying and selling, not to mention an incredible amount of patience and a healthy dose of luck. Gaseous Assets requires players to get “a year’s worth” of CPS in profits. This means $31,536,000, which is the number of seconds in a year. There are guides of how to earn a decent bit of profit each day, but you’ll be in it for the long haul to get this, Cookie Clicker’s rarest achievement.